Perfect Scars

2012-01-23

I used to care so much what people thought of me. It was crucial I fit in and that my friends thought I was cool. However hard I tried I never quite fit in. I remember at the height of this period I would often catch myself thinking how stupid I was to pretend for these people. Looking back, I was right. They were some of the most insincere persons I have ever met. I used to care what my friends thought. I had this one friend I cared about so much it started to scare me. I would call and text and she wouldn’t answer, then she’d just pretend she hadn’t the time to reply. We’ve all sent texts, it clearly is not time consuming to send one text. She’d cancel each appointment we had with each other, yet she could have me walking on all fours if she wanted. Again, something like this hardened me. I still care for her deeply but I can’t bother myself with asking her to spend time with me when I know I am the lowest of priorities. I find more and more that I am best suited in my own company, preferably with a book so that my thoughts don’t eat away at me like they do if I sit quietly alone, with nothing to distract myself. I don’t necessarily like being this person. I don’t enjoy having no faith in humanity or generally feeling disgusted with people. It’s just who I am. It’s how I look at things. I think a lot of you think I put on some kind of show, that I’m being ironic or that I think it’s fashionable to be depressed and angry at the world. I don’t, I am completely sincere and that is why I’m mean and why I complain and why at the end of the day I put myself first. I’m completely selfish, and vain, I don’t even try to hide it. Yet somehow people want and expect me to snap out of it, as if I wouldn’t if I could. I’m an ugly person inside and out.

2010-10-02

(via letsfuckinmybed)

Source: greatillusion

→

onethousandsunshines:

(via letsfuckinmybed)

→

(via jaimienicole)

Source: hangthelandlord

2010-09-09

(via warningdontreadthis)

Source: Flickr / midlander

→

People die…
Beauty fades…
Love changes…
And you will always be alone.
.
.
.
.
.
People die…. so love them every day.
Beauty fades…. so look before it’s gone.
Love changes…. but not the love you give.
And if you love, you’ll never be alone.

→

voirmoncoeur:

(via zombieheartx)

Source: marq-hoppus